Harry Potter and the Awesome off
by blueberrymuffinsandtea
Summary: An OC, Lord Voldie's sister, comes to avenge her dead brother... How will Harry beat her? Crackfic  and many references made.  This is supposed to be funny, so no rabid fangirls, plz Cx
1. Chapter 1

**Ahaha, so~ even though I refuse to update any of my other stories (lol, not really... just really busy) I find time to publish this Harry Potter ficcy I've had in the works for quite a while now... **

**I should also warn you guys that this is a crack fic... therefore, it's mucho weird and OOC... But I hope you can just deal with this :D**

**Plus~ just if any of you guys wonder- Yes, I was watching PPP while writing this xDD**

**Enjoy~ and I (obviously) own nothing :D**

"Haaarrrryyyy!" Ron shouted, running up and down the hallways of Hogwarts. "Harry! We need your help, Harry!"

"Dun-dun-dun-dunnn! Super Harry here, to save the da- Oh, it's just you Ron. Never mind then, I thought you were some hot damsel in distress or something," Harry said, his excitement dying down.

"Harry! I'm so very happy to see you!" Rom exclaimed happily. "We need your help," he told his best friend, sounding much like Dora the Explorer.

"Yes, peasant! 'Tis I, Harry Potter," Harry replied, oh-so humbly, in his fantabulous British accent. "And I, Harry Potter, shall grant you my help."

"Okay, well there's an evil Blue's Clues dog in the boy's bathroom. It's like the time, where there was a troll, and it was in the girl's bathroom, and Her-my-oh-knee was trapped, and we had to save her, and your wand got covered in troll boogers, and then we got detention or something, and we also..." Ron babbled, causing Harry to tune him out.

"Aha! So now it is up to me to destroy this evil beast!" Harry suddenly decided.

"Uhm... sure," Ron agreed.

"To the Potter Mobile! Away!" Harry shouted, running madly towards the little boy's room as Ron called out, "Wait for me, Harry!"

**~-o-O~**

Blue's cute yet demonic bark-thing rang throughout the bathroom.

"We have cookies~," it said, in a sickeningly sweet voice, making guys follow her to their doom.

"Stop, you horrid beast!" Harry commanded, appearing virtually out of nowhere and right in front of Blue.

"That's not very nice," Blue told him, barking. She then turned around to look at Ron; he had just joined the group, and was sweating and panting, mumbling something about catching up to a hairy pot maker. "It's only Ron," Blue continued, turning back to face Harry.

"I cannot understand your dog speak, but you are a dog, so- Accio dog bone~!"Harry yelled, which caused a gi-freaking-normous dogbone to come flying into the room.

"What was- OMIGAWD A GI-FREAKING-NORMOUS BONE!" Blue barked excitedly, her eyes becoming hearts. She ran after it, and happily began to omnomnom on it, on the other side of the bathroom.

Harry clapped his hands in an up and down motion, saying, "All in a day's work for-"

"HAREE PAWTER!"

Everyone in the bathroom -with the exception of Blue- collectively gasped, for the biggest, most evilest villain came out of a stall. Not Lord Voldemort, considering he was [spoiler/killed by Harry/spoiler] in book [spoiler/seven/spoiler]... Even though that probably isn't possible, considering they are in currently in school, not graduated as they should have been... Then again, this authoress could simply be mistaken about something.

Anyways... Before Harry, stood Opal Mitsuki Tara Raven Mary-Sue Himanori, an extremely 'SmExXiE!1 ;DD' girl with opal colored hair... Thus the reason she got her name.

"HAO DAYR YU?" she screamed beautifully. "DAT WAS MAH DAWG AND YU TTTLY KEELED HIM ANHD HIS EBILNES!"

After a moment of silence, Harry decided to lecture Opal. "Uh, actually Opal... Blue is a girl."

"WHUT?" She yelled, completely shocked. "WHO DICIDED DAHT CRAZE THING?"

"Well, NickJr wanted to go against the whole color stereotype where blue=boy and pink=girl," Ron piped up.

"WAYT- WUT? AR YU TELIN ME DAT MUGENTA IS A BOI?"

"Yup," Harry answered.

"NO SHAT?" Opal asked, still in shock.

"Nope, no 'shat'," Harry answered.

"HOLEE FODGE... MY HOL LIFE HAZ BIN A LI DEHN! D';" she wailed. But, instantly recovering cause she was that awesome, she said, "ANIWAIZ! HARY POTR! I AM HERE TO DIZTROY YU! YU KILLD MA BRO VOLDIEMORT AND I'VE COM TO UVENG HIM!"

"Orly? Well, I'll beat you just like I beat your brother," Harry told her.

"NOH! AYE DUNN CHALNGE YOU TO A WISARD WAND FITE! i CHALNG YOU TO A -insert dramatic pause here- OSUM OFF!" Opal cackled oh-so evilly. "A MARI-SU AGAINSHT A MAIN CARACTR! wHOo SHAL WIN? OHOH-" Opal began, but was soon interrupted by Harry.

Oh, please. No ONE can beat me, okay? NO. ONE! Because I. AM. THE. BOY. WHO. LIVED. AND. THE FREAKING. CHOSEN ONE! I was awesome. I am awesome. AND I WILL ALWAYS BE. AWESOME! Wayyy awesomer than you'll ever be, got that? Because, not only can I afford thing -unlike Ron- but I am also the king of this freaking school. I. AM. HARRY. POTTER. I am so freaking awesome it's not even funny. I mean, I'm so awesome that I beat Prussia. Also, I was awesome as a baby! THAT, my dear Opal, is why I did not die. All that 'my parents protecting me' crap is all for show- No! NO! NO! My awesome waves of awesomeness made the killing curse not work, 'kay?~!" Harry ranted. He took a deep breath, ready to continue his rant, nowhere near finished, when he looked down and saw that Opal had crumpled into a pile of ugly-colored glitter. Opal Mitsuki Tara Raven Mary-Sue Himanori had been awesomed to death, by Harry Potter.

"Hah! Hah!" Harry laughed, starting to gloat, but was interrupted by Ronal (Weasley, not McDonald).

"My hero," Ron said, opening his arms to hug Harry.

"Loose some weight before you hug me, Ron," Harry told his ginger friend, and disappeared, leaving a very confused Ronald behind.

**Buahaha... Also, I would like to congratulate mah fraynd Jina~ Happy Birthday, dear ;3 Hope you likeded it~ xD**

**Alsooo~ I will be posting up the alternate ending for this in a couple minutes, soo~ if it still ain't up by the time you finished, make sure to come back, okayy? :D (Will be chapter dos)**

**Reviews are welcome, and flames are not c:**


	2. Chapter dos

**I own nothing~ Enjoy this... alternate ending Cx**

Oh, please. No ONE can beat me, okay? NO. ONE! Because I. AM. THE. BOY. WHO. LIVED. AND. THE FREAKING. CHOSEN ONE! I was awesome. I am awesome. AND I WILL ALWAYS BE. AWESOME! Wayyy awesomer than you'll ever be, got that? Because, not only can I afford thing -unlike Ron- but I am also the king of this freaking school. I. AM. HARRY. POTTER. I am so freaking awesome it's not even funny. I mean, I'm so awesome that I beat Prussia. Also, I was awesome as a baby! THAT, my dear Opal, is why I did not die. All that 'my parents protecting me' crap is all for show- No! NO! NO! My awesome waves of awesomeness made the killing curse not work, 'kay?~!" Harry ranted. He took a deep breath, ready to continue his rant, nowhere near finished, when out of nowhere popped out Prussia/Gilbert.

"Ahaha! I heard that someone here dared say that they were better than me!" Gilbert laughed. "Better? Awesomer? Ahaha, no way dude," Prussia scoffed.

"WHO AR YU?" Opal shouted, enraged that a total stranger would come in and interrupt her and Harry's awesome off.

"I am Prussia!" the stranger said, laughing maniacally, pulling out a huge bazooka and shooting everyone within a ten centimeter radius. Unfortunately, this meant Opal and Harry.

"My hero!" Ron said joyfully, opening his arms to hug Gilbert.

"Ew, no! Loose some pounds before you hug me!"

**Ahaha, okay... Well that turned out slightly icky... Ohwellz, it's a crackfic xDD**

**Anyways~ Anyone familiar with Hetalia? I don't think I got Prussia's character down pat... But he is awesome, so I got that right xDD**

**Review if you'd like xDD**


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